Thursday, October 14, 2010

what was that?

A gajillion years later, for my fifth post, I feel the need to write about this outlandish feeling i had. I walked out of my home this morning and felt the air surrounding me in an unsettling but beautiful manner. The wind crawled into my hair and played with it like it was the lightest toy it had ever encountered. It felt like the wind was swirling up a little home for itself in my hair... to have a wind-made hat... or a wind made home. I want one so much. The clouds felt ridiculously close to where I stood, shape-shifting slowly right in front of my eyes. All of it gave my heart the most gorgeous tickle ickle... ickle. I got into the car, the wind felt trapped in the car with me, so i opened the windows because windows are the wind's home. I started to drive with all windhomes down. My hair rapidly tickling my face as the clouds shifted their shapes closer and one of my arms hung out the windhome that was put down. My hands felt like they had fallen off the steering wheel although at least one of them was still on it, controlling it. The wind started to play with my hand outside the window, picking it up and dropping it, up and dropping. It also felt like water passing between my fingers. Patrick Watson's voice and piano tapping was totally guiding the wind through as he repeatedly told my ears that it was just another ordinary day. What in the world was going on? I couldn't feel anymore human at the time. I thought to myself that if I'd died in a car accident in that half hour, I'd be the happiest person dead. I felt like I hadn't done much in my life to think that it would be alright to just leave suddenly, self actualization didn't matter to me anymore, what i wanted to accomplish just fleeted away like unraveling string from my brain to my mind, right out my ear, outside the window of the car and tied and tangled itself onto a garbage can somewhere on the street. It was all about the gorgeous feeling in my bones, no in my bone marrow. I just hope that when that specific day comes, I disintegrate feeling like this again...