I really don’t understand why I absolutely have to do this to my thought process. It’s throwing me off completely. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing. I certainly don’t have a whole library of concrete ideas and artwork to back up my opinion on this, but I’m very disoriented and need to write about it. I’m angry because I’m currently being pushed in a direction that is far from my comfort zone. I know that you’re going to think that bringing myself out of my own element is good for me, but it’s really just the first step of the process for me and it’s making me react this way. “You’re on the right track but where’s the politic?” “You’re on the right track but where’s the politic???” “You’re on the right track but where’s the politic?” Three times is bad enough, but it also took around three or four different people to say it to me. It’s hard for me to hear this, as I don’t like delivering concrete messages through the photographs I take or the things I make. I don’t have an answer for everything. I came into this field to find out that I wasn’t going to get many answers either. So, how can I give you a message if I don’t have the answers? I know this might sound terrible to a whole lot of you… But I don’t understand politics. I don’t understand what’s going on in my country or yours. I do understand… the gist of it. I just don’t understand the rest because in the long run, the situation never changes. Okay a new president has been elected, but the same process happens again and someone new rules all. I don’t mean to offend anyone if I have, just know that I have some sort of a point to my argument. I don’t understand the rules, rights and legislations which brings me to a stop to tell each of you that this puts me in an awkward situation in which I don’t understand how political choices in America or in Lebanon or in Egypt affect my life in Dubai. This doesn’t rationally sink in. I know that these choices being made are affecting my family and me, I just don’t understand how. I am simply not an academic in that area. This is entirely my fault, as I don’t like to watch the news or read about it. It is beyond me too how I can’t pick up a newspaper. But this brings me to how change is important. When situations are constant and I keep hearing the news repeat itself profusely like a broken record, I get immune to it and it doesn’t affect me. The news is a total personal antibiotic; it just makes my immune system stronger. I know that all of this fluff sounds super painful to some of you, but that’s okay. What I’m trying to say is that I’m not one to incorporate this politic in my work or my thoughts. It’s too systematic and cold for me. What about the rest of the liberal arts? And what about not being so opinionated and imposing your opinions onto others? What about Music? Deeply reflecting on sounds. Writing? Putting two to three words together just to ‘make sense’. What about Philosophy? Poetry? Everyone has politic in his or her life and I understand this. It shapes you up. A big part of mine just so happens to be about emotions, sensations, thoughts, and my goodness Radiohead’s newest video for their new song Lotus Flower. Yes this video is a politic to me. I’ve been following Thom Yorke’s work for as long as I can remember and I never expected him to ever do anything like this in any of his videos. The media really likes to let you think you know somebody by selling that person to you as a polished conduct. But once I saw Thom Yorke in this low budget video, I flipped. How can one man’s face and hands completely change instantaneously? I didn’t recognize the man anymore. The video would be stupid and absolute shit if it were someone else dancing in there. He was so fucking raw. I thought I knew him until I saw him dance like that. I was lost for words. This type of footage is so simple and has been done over and over again but it was Thom Yorke. He made it! It was his crazy human condition in this piece. He looked so frail. Till this day, I don’t understand how someone could express themselves as they moved like that and suddenly become so different to me. He changed! It’s not constant and I love it. I’m almost really angry with him for leading me to believe that he was someone else. Thom’s lazy eye made it apparent that it was infact him but he looked so different at the same time. It’s like he was a friend that had deceived me and I think that’s what had bothered other people too, the deceit. It’s unbelievable. During the first time that I had watched it, the video was very disconcerting and I was very disoriented as you will be when you watch it for the first time. But just give it a chance. I can’t stop watching it now. In conclusion, this video has an inaccurate and immense effect on me. I know that if I continue to make more artwork and grow, something about this honesty has to be in the lines of the work I make, this honesty that affects me or you shitloads, this ‘Lotus Flower’ that is becoming a politic in my life. Emotions, sensations, Thom Yorke’s performance piece… That sort of sensibility for these intangibles is what makes me love this place. They make me never want to leave this place. I’m dreading 2012. I don’t know if it will happen or not, but the very thought scares me. I hope that shit never happens. I want to leave willingly. But that’s another story.
Oh and here's the video just in case some of you would like to see it :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfOa1a8hYP8
